Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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