Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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