He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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