So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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