her vagine was all disorganized.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
