Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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