Pappa wants mamma naked
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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