sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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