Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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