shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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