Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i dont even know how to be here
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
