I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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