PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
