How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
