I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sext me about skeletons
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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