I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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