Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize