I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
