so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
