found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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