Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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