Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize