I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We left the knife in your bed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
