He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
