I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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