Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
