so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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