For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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