i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
