The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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