woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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