My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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