you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You may now shotgun with the bride
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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