i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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