At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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