I must be too annoying 4 u.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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