I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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