another moral hangover. fuck.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
