my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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