so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
its liver damage thursday
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
