I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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