Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize