I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
