i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
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How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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