My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
