i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
