It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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