32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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