I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize