Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
