Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
