Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
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I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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