Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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