i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
