drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
