I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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